Sunday, July 22, 2007
I had always this feeling that before when he went to Thailand, our relationship was already improving... But after he came back from Thailand, I was so happy that I saw and felt that our relationship was getting even better. We were constantly giving in towards each other. And we hadn't much quarrels. Last time almost everyday we would argue... But I really felt blessed to be with him at that moment. Its all within him whether he wants to change or not. But why~ he has to say ''no, not much of a difference''?? Last night he wants a break up. And to me, it is all within himslef. Because lately he has been out with his friends and has gotten a lot of influence. He said after much talking with his friends, he feels breaking up with me is being mature??!! When I asked for a reason, he said he realised that I am always a destraction in his assesment period. And that he says I was controlling him. Thats the reason and I was like that happened like last year and he is only taking it last night. I admit partly was my fault but its a simple issue here. He is busy, but couldn't be that he doesn't even call or send an sms the whole day right? I mean even a toilet break or what, is making a call or sending a sms that difficult? I don't like to be forgotten by him. And I can't possibly go down to look for him just because I missed him cos that would stop him from doing his work. And about controlling him, to him he may feel I am controlling him so I never blamed him. But all I want for him to do was just letting me know where he is going and with whom and to call me as soon as he gets home no matter how late it is. Is that too much of me? I may say things that is very unreasonable like ''since you can't even call, you can stop thinking bout going out with your friends otherwise, I'll go along with you!'' and also i ever said very nicely to him after he got back form Thailand that if ever next time he goes clubbing with his friends, he has to bring me. BUT, I've done none of these... I was just being so angry that why he can't even call me and made me stay up till morning 4am worying for him and he takes it that I am being troublesome... Thats why he didn't call... We tried to compromise and letting him go and I not following him but he has to call that simple... Where am I wrong??? Andre... you are so easily distracted you know that? When you have something new in life, you neglect the ones beside you... How can you say that frineds are more long lasting than having a gf when I kept telling you ''FRIENDS ARE NOT FOREVER''??!! Andre, do you even realise that you are dumping me for your friends?? And you call that being mature?? Being mature is solving problems between us and not taking it as a trouble to do so. With that kind of a thinking you still dare to tell me you are ready to be in a relationship when I asked you last night? Right now Andre, 'Love' is no longer in your heart... Its your friends... Your friends are really in a big influence to you and you call yourself being mature... You put your 'face' way above your head and you call that a man's pride... In front of your friends Andre, all you have is 'face'. Your pride is long lost the moment you chose your friends over me. Childish of you is what I call, You confidently tell me that is being mature. A person that can never admit he is childish at first, is always the person who always say big that he is mature. Andre, I can't blame your friends... everything is within yourself. Just like when you came back from Thailand, you missed me so much and said you have learnt to bacome a better bf. You did and why... do you have to say it makes no difference to you?? Its all in you... WAKE UP ANDRE!!!
