Saturday, July 21, 2007
Its been 6 days already... Still no calls from him... 2 days ago was our 1 year 5 months Anniversary and I told myself to wait till the very last minute that night that he'll do something or at least call. But the hurt this time wasn't that hard to bare cos I already knew the outcome of it... Cos like I said, whenever this feeling of expecting him of something, it means GREAT disappointment in the end. Last night his father called me and came to realise that he was out with his friends partying. I knew it all along... And had the urge of calling him to scold him but I thought, this whole thing between us is almost like a silent break up and I chose not to bother anymore. All the things I once said about informing me where he was going and to call me upon reaching home no matter how late it was - he can't be bothered with it. So many times he chose his friends over me and this time round its the same. Instead of solving situations between us, he chose to have fun with his friends (most of them are girls). And this isn't the first time. Also, it isn't the first time I told him that I hate him enjoying with his friends first then come look for me. If you guys think that ''at least he still looks for me'' well, I was the one who ASKED to. He calls this pampering me too much but hey its been like more than 6 months whenever we quarrel, he didn't came looking for me nor call. Rather, I'll be calling him after 2 days at most to scold him. In my heart right now, part of me already considered this relationship - ended. On the other hand having the thoughts - let him be... have fun or anything he wants to do. Till he is bored of it and have enough, he'll look for me naturally. But at the same time ain't I just torturing myself? Its like, there he is - Enjoying. Here I am - Waiting. And its not as if I'm like him who takes the advantage to go out with friends to have fun. Cos to him, I'm always controlling him. Hey peeps, as a gf, is it wrong to know where your bf is going and with whom? ANd is it wrong that you want him to give you a call the moment he reaches home no matter how late it is?? Like come on~ Its not difficult to make a less than 1 minute phone call is it?? Its useless and hopeless. He doesn't has an aim to our relationship at all therefore its difficult for him to understand the meaning of being in a relationship. I don't whether should I wait till he matures but I definitely know I do not wanna wait cos its pointless... I think I should just give up this whole thing... The feeling of being single is already within me its like yesterday went out I already felt the same way when my ex ditched me - single.
